I have always thought of January as a bleak, desolate month.  Cold, bare trees, dirt that used to be mud now hardened or frozen.  And, of course, these memories come from living a relatively short time on a farm in West Elkton, Ohio in the fifties.  I was in the 4th grade and fascinated by the folklore of Indian tribes over our area. I even went so far as to make my own clothes out of an old, scratchy horse blanket.  Vest, leggins, headband, and moccasins (that fit over my shoes).  In this outfit, with my ever-present bow & arrows, I would roam alone over our 63 acre spread of farmland.  No rabbit or squirrel was safe from my attempts, but still able to escape.  Always after school, or during vacation, I would explore the frozen creeks, and hills and gullies for interesting rocks with shells & trilobites on the ground while taking the occasional shot at an unwary bird flying too low.  In my mind, I was emulating the Indians that I knew from books & magazines that depicted them as strong, self-sufficient hunters & gatherers, enjoying complete freedom. The only “rule” I had to adhere to was to be back at the house by meal time.  Otherwise I was free to roam.  And, since I had no watch, I had to always use the sun’s position as my guide.  Good luck on a cloudy day.  But I was never late for a meal.

Now, as I sit here, I find myself longing for that complete freedom to roam, unfettered, with no restraints other than “the rule.”  I’m sure that I share this sense of longing with the Indians of the past who were also able to roam virtually unfettered through the hills of Ohio.  There is also a feeling of the loss of innocence which most of us now experience as we grow older and more responsible in our busy, time-fettered lives.  This, unfortunately, seems to keep happening at a younger age.  We are very busy and very structured. And this might be the reason we experience our yearning or longing earlier now, in our mid-years.  It might help to slow us down a bit.

So, now, in January, when the longing for a simpler time comes over me, I think that it is a good thing.   It gives us all perspective in our lives.

December is usually cooler and more stark, with leaves having fallen in November.  There is also usually rain and snow somewhere, and lots of dark clouds.  We seem to deal with this darkness by assimilating a holiday spirit throughout the month. Even though Christmas is toward the end of the month, the preparations for food, parties and shopping for gifts cover the whole month.  It is also a bittersweet month, with high highs and low lows for some of us.  But we seem to compensate for this darkness and gloom with an abundance of lights, bright colors, festive foods, and dress and music that is very different from the rest of the year.  The music concerns the holidays, Santa, the birth of Jesus, and many other things, humorous and romantic which surround this season.         My memories are of anticipation.  Expectations, whether of gifts, Christmas Day itself, thoughts of vacation and free time, or just gifts.  One year in particular stands out when I think back to my childhood.  I wished for a shiny silver BB pistol.  Perfect for select targets.  I planned, I campaigned, I cajoled, I overdid it in every way possible. To no effect. However, when Christmas Day finally came, there it was, under the tree, wrapped and waiting for me – and with its own target. The day was filled with BB’s.  The target kept getting placed farther & farther away down the hall, the excitement waning… and then my dad stepped into the hall, slightly farther down than the target.  I was prone on the floor, poised for another boring shot when I noticed in the way he was standing, his sock was down, and his pant leg was slightly up, exposing just a small section of his bare leg… and, I knew I shouldn’t, but I could… make the shot.  I wavered only a second or two, then pulled the trigger. A jerk, a slight yelp, and a searching glance told me I had scored… sort of…and then, no more BB’s until January  – I think. (it’ll be a “cold day” when you get THAT back again).  These moments stay with you.       Here in my new (4 month old) web site, I have a Christmas album which is full of Christmas memories, but with a unique twist to each track… ME…!  I encourage you to sample each track, and, if you wish, you can download and carry them with you through this season of ups & downs (all are included). MERRY CHRISTMAS – 2012.

The leaves are now in their full fall colors, blazing in the trees, dropping to the ground.  The landscape is changing from stunningly beautiful to trees which are now stark, with their branches gray and bare.  The leaves collect on the ground, a nuisance, which now must be raked and bagged or left to the soil.  Such is the way of living beauty, unavoidably linked to age.  It fades and creates memories of what was once vibrant.   Some of our finest music sings nostalgically of the past, of times never to return.  The music is itself a memory. Veteran’s Day invokes memories of those who served our country, both the living and those whom we remember. And this month of November also includes one of our most nostalgic holidays – Thanksgiving.  On this day, families gather and reminisce, sometimes welcoming new faces, young and maybe not so young.  We gather at table and pray overtly or covertly for one another and for blessings over all to whom we are connected. These prayers and blessings at Thanksgiving are like candles – radiating their heat and light, but only briefly, until they also become memories.  November’s Autumn Serenade transitions us from nature’s warmth and light to winter’s cold and dark.  And we remember.

October always brings thoughts of fall, my favorite season.  Also it is the month to think about respecting life of all kinds. Autumn: Thoughts of harvest, halloween, haunted houses.  Football. Beer and pretzels and polka music. The chicken dance.  The colors of fall: Leaves turning to reds, browns, yellows and all shades in between.   Sometimes the weather even gets cooler, permitting us to dress in fall fashions and colors.  The music of fall is festive and melodic and singable by large groups of people.  A feeling begins of changes to come.  Holidays.  Good times and celebrations before winter settles in.  At least this is how I view it.  Fall…  Your thoughts are also welcome!

This is the first step in a whole new enterprise.  Getting my (secular) music out there.  My church music has had a home at International Liturgy Publications for decades.  Thanks to publisher Vince Ambrosetti.  This new web site and my secular music are now available due to my new friend and web mentor – Joshua.  And, many thanks to Dennis McNeil for the introduction. This has been a concentrated and exciting effort, and, once everything has settled in, I plan to get back to creating even more music. The ultimate excitement. So, once the doors are fully open, I hope to have many visitors.  SPREAD THE WORD!

Bill Svarda is a California based trombonist, arranger, copyist, transcriber, orchestrator, composer and engraver.  This is his official website.  He is represented by International Liturgy Publications.

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