I have never thought much about age or the aging process. Even now when I am facing my eighth decade in life I still think the same way I always have, but my body is still changing and sometimes that takes a little getting used to. I have never paid much attention to this because my mind has always taken precedence. Both body and mind grow, however, but not always at the same or a proportional rate. I’m not quite sure what this means, but it is significant.
When I was young (in the fourth grade) we lived for a while on a farm. The farm consisted of sixty-three acres of farmland with fields for corn, trees, creeks, and a pasture with animals. We had pigs and cows and a large steer for obvious reasons. Chickens and ducks and turkeys (my least favorite), and a barn with a hay loft and pitchforks. At my age this was fun besides being a challenge in many ways. It was easy to get lost in the wilds of the fields. It was fun to play in the hayloft and jump down into the hay on the ground though this was forbidden. There might be a pitchfork or just something sharp under the soft hay. At this time I was also very interested in Indian lore. I dressed in clothes that I made myself with a headband and a feather and carried the always available bow with arrows. Furry creatures and birds grew to fear me not because of my expertise, but my inaccuracy.
I didn’t know it at the time but this experience was to be the foundation for the rest of my life. I learned many things that were only possible on a personal free range farm. Self-reliance, responsibility, directions determined by the sun or the moss on the trees, patience in finding a solution to a problem, and thought processes, including solving puzzling situations and working through difficulties. Most of these came in handy when we moved back to town and I joined the Boy Scouts. This became my next most important area of growth, a similar process to my farm days and including more of the same strengths in learning.
Through school (elementary, high and college) I concentrated on playing the trombone. I practiced and learned and this became my obsession through the next period of my life. And it employed most of the elements that I had acquired through my farm and Boy Scout days and grew to better concentration and stronger will power. My ego grew with my expertise as it must if you are to grow and achieve. (I’m still not sure that this was compatible with my first marriage). One does not lose one’s obsessions very easily or without a fight with them. But this segued into the next section of my life and the growth therein, my move to Los Angeles.
I had become estranged from my trombone after playing it from the second grade. I didn’t want to play it anymore and didn’t want to even think about it. I wanted to write. I had written arrangements for all kinds of ensembles and bands since I was a sophomore in high school. My doodles in all of my classes were of musical combinations of notes and chords. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had found a new obsession, and a new way to grow. So Los Angeles became a break with the past and a way to implement my new interest of just writing. And this is when I segued once again, this time from teaching (to survive) to church music. And this became my new interest and obsession.
Most of the music I had written and arranged before had been instrumental with a little vocal sprinkled in. But now I was dealing almost exclusively with vocal music. (a lot less parts to deal with). As my knowledge and comfort with vocal music and understanding of vocal writing grew, I began writing for not only performance, but also publication. And this is where I now reside. Happily. Sometimes stressed out, but still happy.
My early understanding of growth through the experimentation and challenges of my farm days up to the present has served me well. And I am still growing. All of us do, for we either go forward or backward. Never stand still. Life is about growth. And by growth I am speaking of the intellect, not the body. The mind, as long as it is viable goes forward, the body somewhere takes a left turn. But giving up should never be an option, just growth. Let aging do what it will. If all else fails I will fall back on the one thing that has never failed me, reading. I love to read. With music.