Coins all have two sides, two aspects, a front and a back. We accept them because of their nature and usefulness in our daily lives. We don’t question either their existence or their validity. They just are. There are many other things in our lives that are similar to coins. Some of them animate and some of them inanimate. And, again, we don’t question them. They just are. All of our money has a front and a back. Credit cards have a front and a back. books and magazines have a front and a back. Cars have a front and a back. And we accept all of these.
People are in a whole different category. We take them at face value. Mostly we see only a front both physically and mentally, as they see us. But when we think about this, people also have a front and a back. A professional life and a private life. An at-work life and an at-home life. It is normally only in family life that we see the flip side of someone or both sides. And depending on personalities this can be a good thing or not.
When a person is a public figure we normally only see their front side. We hear their viewpoints pertaining to their work or their workplace. Nothing else is needed in order to appreciate the person’s value to society or to their accomplishments or their successes or failures. Their persona is complete and understandable as reported in any kind of medium of communications. They are one of the inhabitants of our personal line-ups that are judged and categorized and filed in our own personal up or down lists. Front side only.
But, we just don’t like the person. Sometimes this isn’t based on logic or factual information, but only our own viewpoint based on a personality conflict. Most of the time this is inconsequential. We mentally file the information and go about our daily lives. But sometimes through an incessant barrage in the media this can become an obsession, even a personal campaign to devalue the person or even actively disparage their image or personality at every opportunity. Through a personality conflict. This negativity, like any kind of negativity, can be destructive both personally and publicly.
We also may not like the ideas that a particular person is proposing or their improper dealings with others in their field or society in general. In a free society we have the freedom to speak our own minds, but when these ideas or distorted or mean-spirited or destructive, we have the right either to ignore this or actively set the record straight with factual information. Personality conflict is much different from disagreement based on factual or even debatable information. Everyone has the right to be an idiot. Most of us, however keep this hidden on our back side. Some on the other hand just can’t resist displaying this lack of intelligence at every opportunity.
In order for personality conflicts to become extreme we must objectify the person or persons. We must see them as an object to be despised or defiled or even destroyed. And, at some point in this process we must begin to realize that we are wrong. Either through inwardly thinking things through or from outside information leaking in to our thinking we must wake up to the fact that we have gone too far down the wrong path. We have lost our moral compass. We have lost both self respect and respect for others no matter who they are. Any number of faith expressions can help pave the way back to normalcy and fairness and respect. And this can lead us back to kindness in our thinking and in our dealings with others in our lives.
This leads us back to the fact that we all are coins with two sides, two faces. We all have opinions. Some of them are decent and helpful. We do not, however have the right to force our own thoughts into the thoughts of others from an undeserved platform or stage or opportunity. We do have the obligation to check our sources of information for validity. We also have the obligation to use fairness in our interactions; respect in our lives, especially in our relations with law enforcement and government; accuracy in our assimilation of information and in passing it along to others. We need to remember that it is possible to disagree with kindness and respect. We need to remember that we are all humans with two sides. We must tend to and nurture both sides. Listen to Judy Collins as she sings her song, “Both Sides Now.”