Our relationships are rarely open and truthful. We hide most of our inner thoughts and opinions from even our closest friends. We filter our thoughts to meet each person that we contact. What we say is shaped or filtered to distance the personalities that we encounter. This is a part of our societal survival. We do not want to offend anyone (comedians excepted).
Just what is filtered? Practically everything that comes out of our mouths. Why? The penalties can be harsh and long-lasting. People that overstep are shunned or ignored or distanced from the one or ones who become offended. So how do we dialogue with anyone? By filters. We verbally dance around until neutral territory is established. Then we can relax with appropriate thoughts flowing freely. What do we commonly filter? Politics, religion, the news in general, relationships, sex, almost everything but the weather. Where does this happen? Everywhere that there is dialogue: conversation, email, social media, texting, casual conversations in passing, etc.
The above is filtering what goes out. The next part is filtering what comes in to us. We hear what we want to hear and discard the rest. Someone discussing any of the categories above who is not filtering what goes out becomes filtered by the listener. We tune the person out. We retain only the subject and basic thoughts and discard the rest. This is survival of our own ego and mindset as it is at a certain moment. This happens with friends, listening to the news, watching a movie, listening to a popular song, in the workplace or a classroom at any level. We learn this early in life by getting verbally beaten down, shunned or just ignored. So we disguise our deepest feelings and important thoughts, our meanness and our mendacity and strive to become just like everyone else. Neutral.
The result of this is a them versus us attitude; friend vs. enemy, up vs. down (class distinction). It is difficult to be close to anyone when our guard is always up. We begin to live an insular existence with our hand always up in the “stop” position. We need to stop thinking of everyone else as the opposing team and remember that we are all traveling the same road of existence together. We are actually all on the same team. We need to drop the filters. Both ways. And we can only do this when we eliminate censorship. Both ways. Of ourselves and others. This is where true happiness will take root and begin to grow.
And what is the impetus for this growth? Music. We tend to let our guards down when listening and also performing music. And since music is a global habit, we actually have a chance eventually for…you know what…! (only candidates for Miss America and people carrying signs say this). Michael Jackson and a host of other musicians said this perfectly some years ago: “We are the World.” So let us all sing & play & act like it is possible. And drop your……..filters…!